Living in Fear and Insecurity.

I'm reading a book right now about a character that had some pretty horrific things happen to her.  The funny thing is, the book is one of a series and in this third novel, our heroine (the books are science fiction) has something horrible happen to her, and you think she is going to save the day yet again, because that is what happens in fiction books usually.  But she gets scarred because she was rendered helpless.

Against the odds, this thing happens that we never think will happen.  How do we respond?
The trauma of the event rattles us, and fear snakes in.
In this current book, she is dealing with this trauma that took place, and thinks she's even past it, but the pain and fear snake in and cripple her with panic and anxiety attacks, ceasing to respond normally to whatever situation she is in.

Right now, something or someone knows her fears, and is somehow capitalizing on them making our heroine live in fear and panic, and she is unable to really see what is going on.

I relate all this to our lives.
Living in fear.
Living in fear of the stupidest day to day things, up to things we know we are called to do by God, like talk to someone walking down the street, or be willing to be vulnerable in a relationship with another person because you know that somehow, God wants to do something in whoever the person's life.  Whatever the reason, I know we can be hindered by our nervous fear.  We do not call it out for what it is, and forget to live our story by zoning into the TV and living someone else's story.
Not engaging and tackling fears in our own lives I think can be the biggest travesty as we no longer participate in living and engaging the world around us, the people around us...

We see and know how everything is supposed to go on our films and TVs and computers, yet, don't get in on it.  How have we become outsiders in our own lives.
Kinda weird concept, and we don't all fall under these categories, but I know we've looked at our neighbor and wanted to be more like them because we're insecure in what we are, and insecure in what God made in us.

Insecurity and fear can go hand in hand I think.
Maybe.
Just maybe.

Really Rambling Rita

Quest for knowledge will be my undoing.  No, the quest won't be the undoing...I suppose our undoing is never quite in the quest, but getting caught up in how much we know thinking it is a whole heap.  The truth is, the more we know the more we realize how little we know...
No arrogance in anything.
I think the quest for understanding is something that unties my shoelaces and tries to trip me daily.  Understanding WHAT exactly?  Anything and everything.  I just praise God my curiosity is still stirred.  Now to go about digging for the information to understand...

Whatever.

Storytime.
Once upon a time I woke up this morning and the words, 'Do not compromise' flew through my brainwaves.  My eyes opened and I kinda just looked at the ceiling for awhile.  My brain was still functioning in fog biscuits, but the phrase, 'Do not compromise' should be contemplated upon more frequently.

The depths of not compromising can apply to most things I suppose.  But there is good and bad compromise.  I don't think I should not compromise when I'm doing something just to get my way.  I don't think that is what God meant when he woke me up today with, 'don't compromise'.

I would LIKE it to mean do not GET compromised, as if I were in ALIAS being a spy...not to be found out while secretly trying to find out the bank codes or something...

I believe not compromising has more to do with do not compromise who God made me to be.  Do not forget who I am.  To know my roots, whatever I am, and am not, is in Christ.  I should not be comprised of other's thoughts of me, though they are a reality, my goal is not to please this world and be of this world...is it?  The busier my schedule becomes, does that mean I stop taking time to reflect on God's word and to be in constant communication in prayer all day long?  Am I looking at the boutique windows and flashy signs and lights and whistles and horns longing to be seduced by the advertising that I should be something completely opposite of what I am?  Should I be striving to be that other girl up there on the billboard because she has nicer teeth or better hair...
Not compromising didn't quite mean don't groom yourself...more like, there is such a thing as self control.  And even though there is a world against us out there telling us to indulge in everything....(we long to be seduced and pursued by these amazing advertisements...) indulge in this food, in this product, in taking more than your share...encouraging greediness...indulge in these movies and these leisurely activities and waste time, oh, and speak as crudely as you want, too...

I think not compromising has something to do with 'self control', and it is a fruit of the spirit.  I was in Galatians today and for some reason it just stood out that in order not to compromise myself to sin, I really need to be conscious of what is fruit of the spirit and what is the product of sin...Self control in the smallest of things like controlling our tongues.  I lose that battle every day.  But I need to strive to have self control...