Beneath my surface skin,
Beneath the tissue paper of an outer layer,
Rushing, raging, ravenous emotions try their best to pull me under.
To pull me by their weight,
To scream for my full attention at every word.
Every word, and the space in between screams for utterance,
Screams to be known in full,
and the weight, the tearing of it all.
My eyes betray me, lost beneath the waves,
Lost beneath the seas,
Unresting thoughts. Pulled.
Pushed down, sinking in the sand of fearing,
Never hearing, not steering the boat clearly,
Clearly not seeing,
Clearly not being what I need to be.
The weight is thrust upon me
My voice is lost in the voices that surround me,
I cannot hear the voice I long to hear - clearly -
Am I not listening, or not hearing,
Are you not speaking, or am I ignoring you?
Trying to hear the sound of your voice
And I am left with the ringing in my head,
All the thoughts unspoken
Always unspoken.
I am outspoken enough as it is.
