Frequencies.

Disheveled is a term I would use. Unsettled is a word that comes to my mind. I am attached to this place, and cannot imagine another at this point in time. I cannot imagine another way and another day on another street in this city with another group of tenants. I can imagine it without both of my housemates but I cannot imagine it with another group. Perhaps I am just scared but I feel this place as right for now. Is one of my housemates right for right now? I don't know this answer, but I know I am at a loss for figuring it all out.

I am at a loss.

Loss Loss Loss.

I know all this...know this Loss feeling all too well.

I don't know how to cope with my feelings.

Sometimes I just want to shut myself in an upper room for days on end...to feel. To understand, yet...I never fully do, and probably never fully will.

Work.

Work til your bones are tired.

I do this.

Am I nervous? Do I feel like any of my feelings bring me to an anxious point?

Yes.

Frequently.